Ellwood Beach Dr.: February 2006

2006-03-01T23:41:00.000-08:00

Bloggy Blogg
Ellwood Beach Dr.: February 2006

Big Sean Speaks

2006-02-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

In a rare interview, billionaire recluse Big Sean speaks with interviewer The Magnetic Cat about his likes, dislikes, and pet-peeves.

TMG: Sean, you're almost two years old now, how has it been living with Megan and Brendan?

Sean: Well, I must say that I'm extremely happy to have been adopted from ASAP in Santa Barbara by Megan and Brendan. They've afforded me the opportunity to bite a great many visitors of varying tastes and textures. I mean, I've been into biting since birth; my brothers and sisters were very encouraging and helped me to hone my biting skills. I'm extremely proud of my achievement and hope to share it with the world.

TMG: Uh huh.... So Sean, you are considered to be one of the wealthiest cats on Ellwood Beach Drive. Where do you hold your wealth and how is it managed?

Sean: Brendan is the obvious choice, as he is studying financial matters, although Megan seems to have a preternatural understanding of which assets to acquire and maintain. She has single-handedly kept my favorite item intact for some time now, repeatedly sewing and reinforcing the areas that were unable to stand up to constant biting. Did I mention that I like to bite? Gosh, I mean, it really makes me feel alive. What a rush. Anyway, I keep the predominance of my wealth in mice, the kind stuffed with some sort of paper mulch and a rabbit fur exterior. Something about the quality of those mice is really conducive to my style of biting.

TMG: I'm going to stop you there. Tell me about some of the things that get to you.

Sean: Where do I begin. I don't like to talk about this very much, but I have a pink nose. I know, I know, its embarrassing but I deal. And I know I'm not supposed to go outside but I love to step out the front door and roll around on the cement and bite passers by. Again, this is my favorite pasttime but Megan and Brendan seem to think that it's not a good idea so I escape whenever possible. Naturally, they try to wrangle me but I bite them. It's a good relationship.

TMG: Thank you very much for this glimpse into your life, Sean. We'll surely speak again. Um, excuse me. Could you please stop biting me?

Sean: No.